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<The Funtastic Way to Learn English>
 อัพเดททุกวัน มันส์ทะลุโลก
    เว็บสอนภาษา ที่ให้มากกว่าการสอนภาษา  .............    
 

   "มาหัวเราะกันให้ฟันหลุด..55555"

 
 

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.


   
   Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

 A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

 Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

 Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

 You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

 Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

 Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

 Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

 Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

 Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

 Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

  Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?

 Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow?

 Why is abreviation such a long word?

 If sour milk is used to make yogurt, how do you know when yogurt has gone bad?

 Why do kamikazee pilots wear helmets?

 Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

 Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?

 If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

 If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?

 Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

 It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

 You can't have everything, where would you put it?

 Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

 When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!

 When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 Why Isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

 If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

 The pen is mightier than the sword -- if the sword is very small and the pen is real sharp.

 Call me insane one more time and I'll eat your other eye!

 The trouble with doing nothing is that you never know when you are finished

 Money isn't everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.

 What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

 If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?


There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

Fudfidforfun
Double Your Fun-Triple Your Knowledge
 อัพเดททุกวัน มันส์ทะลุโลก


 
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